"My father had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later, but once you’ve been mean to someone, they won’t believe the nice anymore. So be nice, be nice, until it’s time to stop being nice, then destroy them."
#the royal tenenbaums
The Royal Tenenbaums 
This is my adopted daughter, Margot Tenenbaum / I’m not in love with you any more / Of course it’s dark, it’s a suicide note / You used to be a genius / They just fell out of your pocket / Who? / She smokes / Why are you wearing pajamas? Do you live here? / I think we’re just gonna to have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that, Richie / The last six days have been the best six days of probably my whole life / Four minutes, forty-eight seconds. We’re all dead. Burned to a crisp.
Personal, selfish rant.
#ugh I'm sorry
#I had to get it out
What I’ve deduced while wallowing in solitude: I’m a parody of the person I want to be. I’m too overweight. I want to be well-liked by girls at work and school but I’m not funny enough to be the comedian, not poignant enough to be the poet. I’m the clown with as much depth as an inflatable children’s pool. I’m just shitty puns in uncomfortable situations. I hate the way my hair is, I hate stretch marks and how I never have time to eat actual food. I hate how broke I am. I’m just this guy with no time for anything but school and work and I want a girl with maturity that encourages me but I get stuck with false hope from a girl that destroyed every fiber of the person I used to be. I’m a fake and I wish I knew when to stop acting and start living. I used to be so much more alive. I used to wake up with a smile and stay up all night and then wake up for school just as happy. I used to be so much more amplified in my attitudes and then I had the worst break-up and it completely tore me down and I still can’t find a way to get over it. I just want someone to be with and that’s shallow and stupid but I just really want to be seen as a human with emotions and not just this guy that makes jokes and likes movies. Nobody ever really takes anyone into account, I feel like. I wish we all grasped that we’re all humans with histories, but nobody ever does. We’re all these cardboard cutouts of our impressions and expectations of each other. We aren’t real, we’re flimsy cardboard. I want to freaking just know what I mean to anyone and everyone and I wish I knew if I had anywhere close to a shot with the girls I like so I can either make my mark or stop exhausting myself by trying. I wish I didn’t lose sleep over a girl that probably never has me cross her mind, I wish I didn’t attach myself to a girl that I have no reason to attach myself to. I’m probably mentally fucked up and I can’t control it. I’m just a mess and this is just my role in life. This worrisome, depressed guy with dreams of making movies that make someone as happy as his idols made him. This guy who probably won’t even make it through college, this guy who can’t even take a minimum wage job without inventing new ways to kill himself after only working there for six months. This guy who gets depressed and jealous when he doesn’t get the promotion or thinks he isn’t appreciated enough at work. That’s me.